Anthony Morrow

That’s why we call him TONY Randolph

A couple years ago NBA active rosters were expanded from twelve to fifteen players, by way of eliminating the confusing and completely fraudulent “Injured List.” Regardless, fewer than twelve players on each team usually suit up on gameday, and rarely do any more than eight or nine players even see the court for any significant amount of time.

That’s why no NBA team can possibly afford to have two players in the rotation that go by the same first name. It doesn’t matter in football if there’s a Steve Young and a Steve Wallace on the field at the same time, or in baseball when Willie McCovey batted behind Willie Mays.

Just like there’s no crying in baseball, there’s no duplicate first names in basketball! Can you imagine two Kareems, two Wilts, two Larrys, two Michaels or two World B.’s on the same team? Can’t happen. That’s why there can’t be two Anthonys on the Warriors.

Anthony Morrow went 10-for-11 tonight and scored 29 points, pretty much hammering home the point we all knew about him: he’s one of the 50 best shooters in the world right now, and that’s probably being stingy. Anthony Tony Randolph had a relatively quiet 31 minutes, as he had 10 points, 6 rebounds and no blocked shots after 5 last night against the Spurs, but we all know Randolph’s the future. Both of these guys are going to be around a while, and it’s time to make a decision. Do we want a Warriors team with two Anthonys, or do we want to figure this out once and for all?

Randolph has to be the Tony, and we all know it. Morrow wakes up, checks his daily planner and shoots 500 jump shots before 11 am; Randolph wakes up and lies in bed for at least an hour each morning, plotting what his first, second and third dunks will be next year during All-Star Weekend. Morrow’s investing in treasuries and CD’s, and Randolph just learned that Jacob the Jeweler is actually in prison and he’ll have to get his carats somewhere else.

All we need is for Marco Belinelli, Stephen Jackson or Jermareo Davidson to invite Randolph over and show him Scarface and he’ll be 100% in favor of the name change (Marcus Williams probably has Scarface on his iPhone, but alas, he is no longer a Warrior). Randolph has always been a Tony in our eyes; now that Morrow looks like a sure rotation player next season the name change needs to become official.

(***Oh, and sorry for that report last night about Stephen Jackson being out for the year. Apparently he was well enough to play tonight, although he scored 12 points and played only 28 minutes. I’m not ready to blame Marcus Thompson II for bad knowledge; after Monte Poole’s recent column I’m sure the Warriors aren’t exactly forthcoming with accurate information these days when it comes to the Bay Area News Group.***)

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