Tim Tebow

Who wants an Angry Whopper? Anybody?

Just wanted to say a few words about last night’s BCS Championship game without obsessing over a playoff system. Barack Obama said all that needed to be said.

Let’s focus on Tim Tebow. If he wants to be seriously considered as a guy who can play quarterback in the NFL, he needs to change his number. No. 15 is in the range of numbers quarterbacks use, but can you remember a great No. 15 not just in the NFL, but in any sport? If you can you’re probably pretty old, since the only great No. 15 in history was Bart Starr.  Just seeing that number on a running quarterback is a little unsettling, even more though than the ever-present scripture on his eye black. That said, Tebow’s touchdown jump pass was the best jump pass I’ve seen since the last Jeff Garcia game I watched.

SGL noticed something that makes college games even longer than they would normally be: the amount of injuries. Why are there so many injuries in college football that cause players to clutch their ankles and lie on the ground for two-to-four minutes? Are NFL players tougher? (Probably) Are college players chronically dehydrated, leading to cramps? (Maybe) Do all these injuries, in addition to the moronic rule that the clock must always stop while the chains are moving, lead to four-hour games that seem longer than an Australia/Titanic double feature? (Definitely)

And lastly, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Burger King has completely lost their collective minds. The Angry Whopper? So BK, you’re telling me that you’ve taken the one sandwich that more than any other has shown the ability to set my stomach on fire within a half hour of eating it, and you’ve made it “angry?” What’s going to happen if I eat this monstrosity? Once in my stomach, would the Whopper take the form of a Tazmanian devil and rip my organs apart from the inside? Is the special sauce actually glass? Will it give me gas so fierce that my downstairs neighbor will have no choice but to call the police? And did you know that this brick of sodium and regret costs $5.29? Now I’m angry!


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